Jessica's Bra

Welcome to the hallowed inner circles o' Jessica's Bra

Since you're askin' that's a typo on a sign above the bar

Big Mary is a'wrestlin' with her conscience and a toe

She's a champion at both, a flick of her hips and over you go

There's a fella in the corner sippin' water through a straw

We'll keep an eye on him, just to be absolutely sure

It's somewhere to escape from the unpleasantries of life

A chance to get away from all the trouble and the strife

Nelson's falling over whilst he's lying down

We all respect his talent, so we'll leave him there for now

And the fella in the corner sipping water through a straw

He's completely motionless, what the hell's he waiting for

Mr Bland's an issue solver from the ministry of grey

Commissioned by a caring team to turn up every day

We're helping with the gravity, make sure it never fails

With bawdy camaraderie and flagons of Tumbling Ale

A tweedy bird from Berkshire is looking for some rough

She sidles up to Bailey who is more than rough enough

And now the vicar's daughter's doing hand-stands up the wall

The boys reach out to grab her before she takes a fall

And if you want to know what happened to the funny little fella

He's being educated at a session in the cellar

And if you're still a'wondrin' where on earth you are

Tell your friends you're having the time of your life in Jessica's Bra

In Jessica's Bra