Stan (Live)

Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin'

I left my cell, my pager and my home phone at the bottom

I sent two letters back in autumn

You must not've got 'em

There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'

Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em

But anyways, f- it, what's been up, man?

How's your daughter?

My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father

If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?

I'ma name her Bonnie

I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry

I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him

I know you probably hear this every day

But I'm your biggest fan

I even got the underground stuff that you did with Skam

I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man

I like the stuff you did with Rawkus too, that shit was phat

Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back

Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan

My tea's gone cold

I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote

I hope you have a chance

I ain't mad, I just think it's messed up you don't answer fans

If you didn't want to talk to me outside the concert

You didn't have to

But you could've signed an autograph for Matthew

That's my little brother, man, he's only six years old

We waited in the blisterin' cold for you

For four hours, and you just said no

That's pretty crummy, man, you're like his favorite idol

He wants to be just like you, man, he likes you more than I do

I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to

Remember when we met in Denver?

You said if I'd write you, you would write back

See, I'm just like you in a way, I never knew my father neither

He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her

I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs

So when I have a crumby day, I drift away and put 'em on

'Cause I don't really got shit else

So that shit helps when I'm depressed

I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest

Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds

It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me

See, everything you say is real

And I respect you 'cause you tell it

My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7

But she don't know you like I know you, Slim, no one does

She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up

You gotta call me, man

I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose, sincerely yours, Stan

P.S. We should be together too

My tea's gone cold

I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Mr. I'm-Too-Good-to-Call-or-Write-My-Fans

This'll be the last package I ever send your ass

It's been six months, and still no word, I don't deserve it?

I know you got my last two letters

I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect

So this is my cassette I'm sendin' you, I hope you hear it

I'm in the car right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway

Hey, Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?

You know the song by Phil Collins

In the Air of the Night

About that guy who could've saved that other guy from drownin'

But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?

That's kinda how this is

You could've rescued me from drownin'

Now it's too late, I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy

And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call

I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall

I loved you, Slim, we could've been together

Think about it, you ruined it now

I hope you go to sleep and you dream about it

And when you dream I hope you can't sleep

And you scream about it

I hope your conscience eats at you

And you can't breathe without me

See, Slim, shut up, bitch, I'm tryin' to talk

Hey, Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin' in the trunk

But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see, I ain't like you

'Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more

And then she'll die too

Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now

Oh shoot, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this tape out?

My tea's gone cold

I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I just been busy

You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?

Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that

And here's an autograph

For your brother, I wrote it on a Starter cap

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must've missed you

Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you

But what's this stuff you said about you like to cut your wrists too?

I say that stuff just clownin' dawg

Come on, how messed up is you?

You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselin'

To help your ass from bouncin'

Off the walls when you get down some

And what's this junk about us meant to be together?

That type of crap'll make me not want us to meet each other

I really think you and your girlfriend need each other

Or maybe you just need to treat her better

I hope you get to read this letter

I just hope it reaches you in time

Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine

If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you

But Stan, why are you so mad?

Try to understand that I do want you as a fan

I just don't want you to do some crazy

I seen this one shit on the news

A couple weeks ago that made me sick

Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge

And had his girlfriend in the trunk

And she was pregnant with his kid

And in the car they found a tape

But they didn't say who it was to

Come to think about it, his name was, it was you, damn