I Wrote The Book

When it comes to

Hitchin' the boat up

Backin' down the ramp

In my old truck

To find a bunch of logs

To catch a bunch of hogs

Yeah, I wrote the book

Yeah, I wrote the book

If you wanna learn

To throw a curve right

To catch a clean up

Lookin' on a third strike

Talk a little smack

While he's walkin' back

Yeah, I wrote the book

But there's one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand

One that says don't cuss and don't fight

Or let the bottle turn you into a different man

But, damn, if I don't do it every Friday night

Those get you into Heaven letters in red

Ain't gettin' read enough to keep me on a straight line

I'm a Jack of all trades

But man I gotta say

That's one book I didn't write

I met a good girl

She had her life straight

She said she loved that I was good at everythin'

One day she left me in a cloud of dust

'Cause I never was too good at pickin' up

The one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand

One that says don't cuss and don't fight

Or let the bottle turn you into a different man

But, damn, if I don't do it every Friday night

Those get you into Heaven letters in red

Ain't gettin' read enough to keep me on a straight line

I'm a jack of all trades

But man I gotta say

That's one book I didn't write

Yeah the good Lord knows I need it

I didn't write it but I probably oughta read it

The one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand

One that says don't cuss and don't fight

Or let the bottle turn you into a different man

But, damn, if I don't do it every Friday night

Those get you into Heaven letters in red

Ain't gettin' read enough to keep me on a straight line

I'm a jack of all trades

But man I gotta say

That's one book I didn't write

That's one book I didn't write

That's one book I didn't write