There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet

Please, leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman

From that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed

I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it

Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and

Please, leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman

From that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed

I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it

Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and

When you're in black slacks with accentuating, off-white, pinstripes

Whoa, everything goes according to plan

I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it

Because you say so under your breath

You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?

Never looked better, and you can't stand it

Next is a trip to the, the ladies' room in vain, and

I bet you just can't keep up with, (keep up) with these fashionistas, and

Tonight, tonight you are, you are a whispering campaign

I bet to them your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shh

Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears

And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!"

Oh, and the smokes in that cigarette box on the table

They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin

I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it

Because you say so under your breath

You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?

Never looked better, and you can't stand it

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?

I've never looked better, and you can't stand it

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?

I've never looked better, and you can't stand it

And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up

I've never been so surreptitious, so, of course, you'll be distracted when I spike the punch

And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up

I've never been so surreptitious, so, of course, you'll be distracted when I spike the punch

And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up

I've never been so surreptitious, so, of course, you'll be distracted when I spike the punch