If I Had

"Life" by Marshall Mathers

What is life?

Life is like a big obstacle

Put in front of your optical to slow you down

And every time you think you've gotten past it

It's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground

What are friends?

Friends are people that you think are your friends

But they're really your enemies with secret identities and disguises to hide their true colors

So just when you think you're close enough to be brothers they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't looking

What is money?

Money is what makes a man act funny

Money is the root of all evil

Money'll make them same friends come back around swearing that they was always down

What is life?

I'm tired of life

I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins

I'm tired of committing so many sins

Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins

Tired of never having any ends

Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and Mini Thins

I'm tired of this DJ playing your shit when he spins

Tired of not having a deal

Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel

Tired of drowning in my sorrow

Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo

I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin' off

I'm tired of jobs startin' off at $5.50 an hour

Then this boss wonders why I'm smartin' off

I'm tired of being fired every time I fart and cough

Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk for this jerk breathing down my neck, driving me berserk

I'm tired of using plastic silverware

Tired of working at Builder's Square

Tired of not being a millionaire

But if I had a million dollars

I'd buy a damn brewery and turn the planet into alcoholics

If I had a magic wand

I'd make the world suck my dick without a condom on while I'm on the john

If I had a million bucks

It wouldn't be enough because I'd still be out robbing armored trucks

If I had one wish

I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor

Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store

I'm tired of not having a phone

Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have one on

Tired of not driving a BM

Tired of not working at GM

Tired of wanting to be him

Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM

Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum

Tired of not being on tour

Tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work in the back of a Contour

I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones

Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns

Tired of being stared at

Tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat

Tired of stepping in clubs, wearing the same pair of Lugz

Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs

Tired of other rappers who ain't bringing half the skill as me

Sayin' they wasn't feeling me on "Nobody's As Ill As Me"

And I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs

Tired of JLB saying "Where Hip-Hop lives"

But if I had a million dollars

I'd buy a damn brewery and turn the planet into alcoholics

If I had a magic wand

I'd make the world suck my dick without a condom on while I'm on the john

If I had a million bucks

It wouldn't be enough because I'd still be out robbing armored trucks

If I had one wish

I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

Y'know what I'm saying?

I'm tired of all of this bullshit

Telling me to be positive

How am I 'posed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?

Y'know what I'm saying?

I rap about shit around me, shit I see

Y'know what I'm saying?

And right now I'm tired of everything

Tired of all this player-hating that's going on in my own city

Can't get no airplay

Y'know what I'm saying?

But hey, it's cool though

Y'know what I'm saying?

I'm just fed up

That's my word